The girl whose name you have once again forgot
With the excellent shirt
A cigarette stub between her jewelled fingers
Looks at you
And says to someone else who's out of earshot
'Are they coming back?'
Well, are they?

And you stumble to the oven
Because you've been eating nothing but crisps
For the last 24 hours or more
But you don't know how to work the oven
And you don't know how to work the shower
And the friend who brought you here is sprawled in the bathtub

With 'Norwegian Wood' playing in the bathroom
And 'Born Slippy' playing in the kitchen
And flying ants have colonised the tabletop
And a ring of cards circles the vomit on the carpet

And the girl with the excellent shirt whose name you have once again forgot
With the cigarette between her jewelled fingers
(She's lighting another one now)
She says
'FOR FUCKSAKE WE'VE HEARD THIS TWENTY-ONE CONSECUTIVE TIMES!!'

You have heard 'Born Slippy' twenty-one consecutive times.
You have heard 'Dance Yrself Clean' three consecutive times.
(It's ten minutes long.)
You have heard the Time Warp five consecutive times.
You have heard the radio edit of 'Blue Monday' seven consecutive times.

You have had enough of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers
You have had enough of the mattress in the hall with the stain on it
You have had enough of answering the door and pretending to be someone else as the same tired delivery driver hands you a kebab and says 'Nice one mate' and pretends not to see the mattress in the hall with the stain on it
You have had enough of eye contact with yourself in the bathroom mirror and wondering if, in twenty years' time, you will want to be back here again

You have had enough of the girl whose name you have once again forgot with the excellent shirt and the cigarette clutched between jewelled fingers
Telling you
That the American singer-songwriter Patti Smith
Recorded a seminal album
Called 'Horses'
In 1975
You should listen to it

You have had enough of your nose feeling like it's stuffed with washing detergent
You have had enough of nicotine
You have had enough of heart palpitations even though you are only twenty-three years old

I'll say it one more time
You have had
Enough
Of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers!!!!

(I don't ever wanna feel
I don't ever wanna feel
I don't ever wanna feel
Yeahhhhhhh)